Dear Frankie Vol V: A mini lesson in toxic masculinity.



Photo by Craig McLachlan

Channeling Dan, I'd like to convey how important it is to understand when a person of any gender becomes more attuned to their sense of self it can destabilize the house, whether you want it to or not. For millennia, organisms have ebbed, flowed, and even died out; so we as humans who are being untrue to our nature are affecting the structure of those we interact with. Our goal is to be true to yourself and ultimately you affect the power of positivity that keeps generating more and more. If something or someone falls away, rest assured that something even better is meant for you.


Coming back to a woman's perspective, we can lead our family, our partners, in the right direction but leaders of our pack sometimes run with other leaders. It's in those moments that we ask you to be the voice of reason for each other. Men have been plagued with the notion that their feelings are not valid and in doing so, we have forced them to conceal them. Be disingenuous to our faces and thus putting them on a pedestal that would hurt to fall from.


Humanity is shaped in large part on the need to be better, otherwise we would still be rubbing two sticks together to make fire. On the other side of that, we are plagued with the want to do things as easily as possible. Fast food, trash TV, and a myriad of other mind numbing distractions are keeping us from living the healthiest and most fulfilling lives we can. We want to encourage our partners to be great at their career, be amazing Father's and bread winners, so it's not too far fetched to understand that a woman's expectations of the men in her life may be causing them grief and anxiety.


Male suicide rates are nearly four times higher than females so it stands to reason they are four times more likely to feel pressure in life, or at least less able to seek help or control their circumstances. We as women, the nurturing energy, need to be aligned with the feelings of the men in our lives. Allow them to let down their guard and show their emotions in a healthy environment, provide coaching, understanding and guidance to ensure they are leading mentally healthy lives.


We speak a lot of Toxic Masculinity but push back the rhetoric of the damsel in distress mentality that we exhibit (myself included). Are we conditioning our male identifying populace to carry those traits?


Human complexities are vast and wide and we are on the journey of self betterment. Be better because you've learned better. I encourage you all to reflect that love, encouragement and understanding unto one another; just maybe we can create the harmonious space we are all searching for.

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